The TeenTwins having reached 18 years old so surely it must fall to me, as their mother, advisor and protector, to arm the pair of them, the best I can, against the slings and arrows that outrageous fortune might throw at them as putative adults.
And even if it isn't, I'm going to have a go anyway.
Not that they'll listen. Or believe me.
Nevertheless here is my cut out and keep guide of essential truths guaranteed to lead to a happier, more fulfilled life for everybody.
But maybe not blondes.
ESSENTIAL LIFE TRUTHS
- Blondes don't have more fun. They just talk about it more.
- Not everyone has a book in them.
- It's not what you know or who you know, it's what you do with what you know and who you're with.
- Everyone is the same colour under the skin
- When someone says; "It's not you, it's me.." It's usually you.
- Sometimes people are knobs, you just have to learn how to handle them.
- Hearts don't break. They just feel like they do.
- Little white lies can hurt.
- Your hair will always look it's most fantastic the day you have an appointment at the hairdresser.
- Real men rarely come first.