Tuesday, 23 August 2011

My Life with Jedward

THERE comes a time in every teenage girl's life when she develops a crush on a popstar. Generally it lasts for about six months ... just time enough to plaster the bedroom wall in posters, play the CD wafer thin and drive every sentient being within hearing distance into a mummified state of pap-pop induced terror.

But Twin2 has developed a passion that just will not be thwarted and that passion is Jedward. Since they first, well not graced.... Since they first appeared on the stage at the X Factor auditions in 2009, she has been totally besotted.

Jedward made of Lego
Jedward: The Lego Years

She watched that year's series avidly and when the nation finally came to it's collective musical senses and voted them off in sixth place, she was heartbroken. Truly heartbroken, damply sobbing in a heap on her bedroom floor. And it was heartbreaking to see her so devastated.
She hasn't watched The X Factor since.

Jedward teased their quiffs higher and, luckily for Twin2 if not the rest of the nation, shrieked on to jigger pick out a career as, well, "Entertainers" I suppose  - they certainly aren't singers. And I speak as one who has seen them live. An experience which was akin to being locked in a sauna with 300 pre-teens, a karaoke machine and a couple of squawking chickens in glitter suits.
What do I mean 'akin to,' I mean 'exactly like'...

Jedward live on stage

And to my unending, never-dying embarrassment, I have perpetuated their success and contributed to their coffers buying tour tickets, CDs, DVDs, books, bracelets, t-shirts and posters for the entranced, if clearly deluded, Twin2. We even voted for them when they were the Irish entry for Eurovision 2011. Three times.

But this week, Jedward even made me smile ... Twin2 entered a competition and won. This was her prize...


Deranged talentless novelties that they are, their message turned my 15 year old daughter into the excitable child of Christmases past.. her face aglow, her eyes shining and a smile as wide as a mile. Her joy was truly a joy to see.

So thank you Jedward, you're welcome for tea at my house anytime you like ... Just so long as you don't sing.

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