2: That we possess a copy of 'Rainbow Rave Up,' ...... though where it came from remains a mystery. *Unpacks desk lamp and Fedora, lights cheroot*
3: The first time your teenager is late home after a date with her new boyfriend, you DO start chewing the carpet. Fact.
4: Being a parent of twin teenage girls is being 40% Pierluigi Collina, 40% Kofi Annan and 20% Sir Mervyn King
5: Where Guatemala is.