Saturday, 17 March 2012

Becoming Katie Price ..

So Katie Price - aka Jordan, aka Her-Who-Broke-Peter-Andre's-Heart aka How-The-Hell-Did-She-Pull-That-Argentinian - is Celebrity Mum of The Year..... *sadly puts away bunting and pricks balloons with a pin*

Admittedly this competition was held under the auspices of Foxy Bingo and the winner's trophy looks like something you'd put on display in the attic, BEHIND a collection of porn and dismembered body parts but really, Katie Price? In the words of the greatest tennis player of all time: "You cannot be SERIOUS."

And it isn't as if there wasn't some competition for the title. Well alright, I'd never actually heard of half of them but there was SamCam, that Beckham woman and Philip Schofield's friend Holly Willowotsit in the Top Ten nominations.

I don't know how it was decided who should win the "coveted" title of Celebrity Mum of the Year but I secretly hope it was slugged out between nominees in a competitive mud-wrestling match. That, and possibly only that, would explain why Katie Price won.

So IF Katie Price is the celebrity mum we should all aspire to be, shouldn't we ALL start to emulate this beacon of motherhood?

In my case it's going to be tough. It will probably involve major surgery, losing the odd 14 years or so and civil engineers may have to be consulted in pursuit of a suitably structural edifice that will pass as a push up bra, but hey she's a role model and I'm willing to give it a go.

I'm looking forward to the social life. I don't usually spend a lot of time hanging around pouting at photographers, or going out in my swimsuit, and I've NEVER fallen out of nightclubs in the early hours wearing see-through leggings and clinging on to an Argentinian male model. But I'm sure I can get the hang of it given a bit of practice

And I am PARTICULARLY looking forward to the Argentinian male model but I do have a question ..... do we have to find our own Argentinian male model or do we get to share Katie's?

*books ticket to Buenos Aires*


  1. Ha ha very funny post on a quite unbelievable story. Really? Celeb mum of the year? Well if that's all there is on offer then Kate and Will's better hurry up lol.
    PS The Argentine model and Katie Price pairing is no more. He saw sense and buggered off back to Argentina (according to gossip celeb mag).
    PPS Didn't Daddy Andre win dad of the year?

  2. Oh no! How can she be mother of the year?!?!? Funny post!


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