AS the GCSEs grind relentlessly towards a close, the TeenTwins are "buzzin' mum" with barely contained excitement that they can sign out of classes for the summer term.
"No more 6am wake-ups," they crow, unutterably incapable of grasping that 6am wake-ups have always been avoidable if only they chose to go to school with bed-hair and without make-up. *Tuts*
They still have classes to attend, the last gasp of education before starting sixth form in September, but the lessons are few and far between. Some days they won't be expected in school until lunchtime and other days they'll only be there for an hour.
They are very happy about this, but me?
In the first place, I'm going to have to explain to The Third Girl and The Boy that while their sisters are snoring in bed, both of them still have to go to school. And I will have to repeatedly explain that to them EVERY SINGLE MORNING. There will be sulking and much shoe-dragging.
And The TeenTwins? Are they going to be hanging around the house ALL day? Are they, god forbid, going to start having their friends round? They are, aren't they? *Woeful face*
AND they'll want lunch, and snacks, and endless amounts of tea and coffee. The TV will be constantly on and the laptops never shut down while they daily, for hours, wield hairdryers and straighteners or curlers practicing Prom hairstyles. And the kettle, the poor kettle, will steam until it can steam no more.
There may also be loud music on a regular basis and I'm not going to like it when they tell me to turn it down. *Mutinous look*
So I'm considering dipping my toe into home-schooling for the next six weeks of so... an alternative education system which will go some way to preparing the TeenTwins for a life beyond the classroom *virtuous look.*
I shall be running courses in How To Use The Washing Machine, Oh level Bathroom Cleaning, Ironing: A Beginner's Guide, Washing-up, Stage 2 (Not Just Dipping It In) and, for the more adventurous and scientifically minded, Weeding The Allotment, Advanced level (may contain bugs).
*Unpacks mortar board hat, twitches cane*
|"Hang on, you want us to do WHAT????"|