Saturday, 9 February 2013

The Trouble With Beyonce

I should, by all rights, intuition, intelligence and common sense despise Beyonce. She represents everything I hate about the popular music industry and, in particular, women in the music industry who are perpetually under clothed and then over hyped by an hysterical media *tuts*

But the trouble with Beyonce, despite all my huffing, puffing and sighing, despite the "You should have put a skirt on it" commentary running in my head every time she's on stage, is that I bloody love her.

I do. And I can't help it.

I don't as a rule approve of pop chanteuses strutting around in little more than sparkly pants and a basque  on stage. I have tutted comprehensively at Rhianna and Lady GaGa and, yes, even Madonna. (You're in your 50s woman! Put it away). But Beyonce is ALLOWED because, well, she's Beyonce and she probably does everything from the washing up to giving birth in a sequinned leotard and six inch heels. Probably.

TeenTwin1 and TeenTwin2 set their eyes to permanent roll if I attempt to gyrate my way through the "Single Ladies" dance on kitchen disco nights, while the Tween raises hers to heaven and goes off to Google the number for Childline. But still my love for Beyonce is undimmed.

When it was said that Beyonce mimed the Star Strangled Banner during the President's inauguration, I was incensed enough to metaphorically roll my sleeves up and defend her. I managed a ten minute rant at The Man that ran roughly along the lines of "The cheek of it" steered through "EVERYONE does it" veered past "I bet they'd bloody mime as well" until I was abruptly derailed by The Man who asked: "Who's Boncey." *Tuts*

And now a couple of unflattering pictures have emerged from her half-time performance at the SuperBowl, a bloody brilliant performance by the way, and this happens....YOU MADE HER LOOK LIKE THE HULK, YOU BASTARDS.

Alright, it's not a good photo and her publicist ill-advisedly asked for it to be removed from wherever it appeared which set the whole meme off in the first place, but really? Asking for a godawful picture to be removed is not a crime. It's the entire reason they invented the private message on Facebook. So can you all just leave Beyonce alone now. She's had a tough couple of weeks and it's about time everyone just put a sock in it.

*Fierce face*

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