It has recently been brought to my attention that the past 17 years of mothering I have lavished on to the TeenTwins has been for naught.
The pair of them may pass for capable, intelligent and attractive young people in public but I know better. Deep within them is weirdness and it is not weirdness of my making. Oh no.
They have developed "habits," not the habits that I SLAVED to eradicate in their more formative years and yes, I do mean thumb-sucking *tuts at a Teen* and *rolls eyes at another Teen* bear-sniffing.... Don't ask.
No, THESE habits, hang-ups, foibles and affectations are all their own work and recent work at that but they fully expect me to accept them because they're 17 years old and: "That's just the way I am, Mum."
Age being neither indicator of sense or maturity, I'm not falling for that one. There is no reason why one of the Teens can't blow her own nose. Not one. She used to blow it, and it's a nose sometimes it needs blowing. But my 17 year old can't blow her nose, or at least not in public, which can make for some very snuffly conversations.
The other 17 year old has the habit of rushing into the house in desperate need of the loo having apparently developed the inability to GO in any one else's. It's a really good job she has long legs, because she spends half of her life with them plaited.
One Teen can't take a shower without the other sat on the toilet seat having a chat. One Teen ALWAYS has to sleep with the light on, even though she never did when she was young. One Teen won't eat pasta though she always used to, the other won't eat chicken if it has a bone in it even though, she too, always used to. Neither of them will clean a toilet, but that's probably another story.
Anyway, I shan't be having it. All that time I lavished gently coaxing a thumb out of a mouth or a bear from a nose (I said: Don't ask), I SHOULD I realise now also have been whispering encouraging things along the lines of "Mmmm, pasta" and "Oo, yummy chicken" while energetically blowing my nose and flushing the toilet at the same time ....
...But it's not too late
*Rolls sleeves up*
NB: And no, it's not the bear-sniffer who refuses to blow her nose. Just in case you were wondering.