Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Tween-age Rampage

When I was young there was no such a thing as a Tween.

The only difference between being a child and a teenager Back Then was acne and attitude..... And people only noticed either so they could make a mental note to stay well away until you'd got the whole growing up thing sorted out.

And then they invented the Tween, a whole NEW stage in growing up between being a child and a teenager. That the Tween-age was clearly developed as a marketing ploy by advertising companies desperate to create a new demographic is neither here nor there. They might have invented the Tween, but now we're stuck with them. So, yeah, thanks for that.

My current Tween has clearly been taking notes from her two elder sisters for several years and at 11 years old has the full repertoire of Tween traits mastered. Stomping up the stairs in a strop she's, admittedly, done since she was about six-years-old but now she's big enough to make the doors rattle when she slams them which gives her great satisfaction. Or it must do because she does it at least three times a day and twice that at weekends.

She has a baleful glare she wields like a weapon if she is displeased, annoyed or just at a loss what to do next, and a pair of tear-filled puppy-dog eyes for Daddy emergencies.

Ask her to do something and she will find 27 reasons why she shouldn't but the biggest, best and most oft repeated one is: "IT'S NOT FAIR." Ask her not to do something and she will find another 212 reasons to why she went and did it anyway and then, again, claim: "IT'S NOT FAIR."

She is as inconsistent as the child she so recently was with all the manipulative cunning of a fully grown politician and frankly, IT'S NOT FAIR!

Though I am pathetically grateful for one thing. Her scorn for the world around her is such that she stubbornly fails to be driven sheep-like by the marketing men that invented her in the first place. She thinks the only direction One Direction should take is down and preferably out and sneers, literally and often, at Justin Bieber and really, thank all gods that she does. As I've already had to sit through a WHOLE Jedward concert with the TeenTwins, my relief that I haven't had to endure the horror that is La Bieber is indeed  manifold.

And so we'll put up with the stompings, the sulkings and, yes even the stroppings for now, because she might be bad, but she isn't THAT bad. *Relieved look*

*Goes off to re-hang the bedroom door*


  1. If it is any consolation I found teenage harder than teenage!

  2. Great post. As the mum of tween boys I have to experience this. A few more years (I hope) until my daughter starts behaving like this. Would like to use this for new Britmums teen and tween round-up :)

  3. I'm a bit confused about the tween thing - when is a tween? E is 8 and I'm sure is showing tween behaviours but is surely too young to even fit into that category

  4. I can only say that I gave a huge sigh of relief reading this - it's not only me!!!! My Tweens can be downright horrid...I hope they're getting it all out now!

  5. I am with you guys my daughter has been taken and replaced by a evil, nasty creature that looks very much like her .. oh god help!


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