Wednesday, 23 September 2015

The Five Lies Teenagers Tell Every Day.

Teenagers lie.

A lot.

At least according to this article in the Daily Fail they do. Around 60%, the article claims, of 13 to 17 year olds tell up to five lies a day.

The article goes on to say that scientists have discovered that teenagers are, in fact, the very best liars around ...

Five-lies-teenagers-tell-every-day


They further claim that teenagers are such exceptional liars because of their ability to think fast, though anyone who has spent any length of time with teenagers will tell you speed at anything is a forlorn hope. No, I suggest there is another reason behind a teenager's ability to lie.

Because sadly there comes a time in every teenager's life when they cotton on that Santa Claus is not actually real, and the Tooth Fairy? Not real either. Jack Frost? As if.

The moon isn't made of cheese, there are no fairies at the bottom of the garden, and the nearest they've ever been to a stork is in the butter aisle of the local supermarket.

They realise that their parents have lied to them: repeatedly, elaborately, believably, and without even the merest inkling of a tinge of guilt throughout their entire existence on a planet that suddenly they're not entirely sure of anymore.

Is it any wonder they lie? Really? Frankly, I don't blame them.

(Just a suggestion: if you're thinking of employing an Elf on the Shelf this Christmas. Don't. Just don't. That is all.)

As for those five lies teenagers tell everyday? Well ....

Five Lies Teenagers Tell


1:  I didn't do it, it wasn't me; 
Whether they did whatever it was is merely coincidental. A teenager will say they didn't do it before they know what it is they're supposed to have done. They might have done whatever it was, they might not; but they've definitely done something they know you won't be happy about.

2: But EVERYBODY'S got one/ going to/ doing it;
They haven't, they're not and they aren't.

3: I know what I'm doing;
HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHA *breathes* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

4: It just broke;
Things fall apart in the hands of teenagers quicker than Britney Spear's relationships. Usually it's something hugely expensive and three days out of warranty but it wasn't the teenager's fault; it just broke. Nothing at all to do with being kicked around the bedroom floor, used in six different ways it wasn't supposed to be, or left in the park overnight. Nothing at all.

5: You just don't understand me; 
Though, of course, you do. You're not impressed by black bedroom walls or a three inch thick fake tan, not swayed by their collection of Marvel magazines or their 39 slightly differing shades of lipstick. You remember when all they would eat was food that was red or had a passionate desire to corral snails.

You understand these things pass.

You know it's just a phase they're going through.

Just don't, whatever you do, say that out loud. 

4 comments :

  1. You must be the Mother of all Understanding of Teens, Jodie. Lovely post.
    Lots of truths in his

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh yes, I remember telling all those lies myself and I know I'm told them most days by my own teenager. But I do think it's probably a lot to do with realising that they can lie, and their desire to have a part of their life that they don't have to share with us. Which is why we'll still be telling all the lies about Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny to our three year old, while our teenagers continue to fib to our faces!

    #brilliantblogposts

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha - is it that obvious? I used to use all of those 'porkie-pies' - At least i'll know when my own start telling me lies ;) #brilliantblogposts

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this and all so very true (sadly)! Isn't it funny how when they are younger, we don't think anything of lying through our teeth. By the way, I can think of plenty of reasons why someone should not, under any circumstances, buy an elf on the shelf - promoting lies is only one of them!

    ReplyDelete

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