Saturday, 3 September 2011

Countdown to School

It's back to school on Monday morning and I'm waiting for a couple of the Darling Horrors to unearth some mud-spattered piece of PE kit that's been festering in a dark corner for the past six weeks while simultaneously announcing they need PE kit on Monday morning.

I expect this will happen at about 8.40pm on Sunday night despite the fact I have spent the past six weeks threatening everyone and anyone with instant decapitation if it does.

And Girls 1 and 2 have waited until today to claim they require new school shoes, flat and black and plain. They have been despatched to the shops alone - trying to find a pair of shoes both acceptable under school rules and to a pair of 15 year old girls is a journey of such will-sapping, mind-numbing drudgery I don't ever want to embark on it again. They WILL return with a pair of black ballet style pumps destined to fall apart after week one.

Girl 3 has spent a large proportion of the summer amassing a whole WHSmith's worth of pens, pencils and novelty rubbers. These will already have disappeared but Girl 3 won't discover this until bedtime on Sunday. This will mean tears. They will all be found in about three weeks time at the bottom of the Boy's toybox.

This year though the most important thing to sort out before Monday morning is The Boy who moves up to Class One and under the auspices of one Mrs Billam. She has already taught Girls 1, 2 and 3 and thanks to them, The Boy is under the delusion that her name is actually and really Mrs Killer-Billam. Things may well get a bit tense.

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