Wednesday, 4 January 2012

The Prom Diaries, Part 1

I am not a fan of Americana and that's PROBABLY the best - and most diplomatic - way of putting it. Just one part of this antipathy is our (the UK's) eagerness to adopt American traditions as our own

Trick or Treat might be an adventurous wonderland of fancy dress, excitement, real wild times and free candy in the Good Ole US of A, but it is EXCRUCIATING on the streets of Yorkshire where handing out free sweets to winsome children is more likely to result in an arrest than a celebration of a national holiday.

And The Prom? THE PROM ... what on earth possessed us to transport that event into our lives. WHY? FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHY? 

What was wrong with the traditional school disco ...  a school hall, a sixth former with an extensive record collection and a teacher in the corner doling out plastic cups of orange squash. You wore what you wanted, smuggled cider into the toilets and got a lift home in your Dad's bright yellow work van with "Climax" emblazoned down the side .... It never did me any harm.
(Disclaimer, I have no official paperwork to prove that).

But no, the schools and academies of England in the 21st century are all about The Prom and so The Prom it is. And although I am opposed to The Prom, I will be sucked into The Prom because the schools and academies of England have seen fit to hold out The Prom as the carrot at the end of the very big stick that is current educational standards.
Personally, I blame John Travolta.

Get good grades in Year 11! Win a ticket to THE PROM! ... Wear huge dresses, glittery dresses, massive meringue dresses that sparkle like the stars of a 1,000 nights. Arrive in a limousine or a 50ft pink Hummer or on a London bus........

The Teen Twins are in Year 11. The Teen Twins are exceptionally bright, even officially Gifted and Talented in several subjects. *quietly proud beam* The Teen Twins ARE going to be invited (for that read; be allowed to buy tickets at £30 a pop) to The Prom along with their equally bright, gifted and talented friends. They are all VERY excited about this.

The Prom is in July, yet today Teen Twin 2 came home from the first day back at school in a bit of a, well, strop. She HAD been sitting her French Oral GCSE exam, but the horror of that was forgotten in the trauma of the What Bus To Hire For The Prom argument currently raging among her friends.... A cream one? A camouflage one? A double decker red one? Teen Twin 1 has yet to join in the argument, but I'm guessing she'll suggest ditching the bus and hiring a hearse instead.

I think there might be quite a few strops between now and The Prom to be honest. I'm not looking forward to the But-you-don't-NEED-a-£300-dress "discussion" that is BOUND to happen at some time in the near future or the You're-not-going-to-sit-on-a-roundabout-with-your-friends-'til-6am-because-that-happened-at-last-year's-Prom "chat" we'll have to have either.

So thank you educational establishments of England for the unrivalled opportunity to have a couple of humdinging arguments with my offspring (of whom, most of the time, I am justly proud) during their final months of study for some of the most important exams of their lives.
Yeah, thanks for that.

I wonder if my dad can still get hold of one of them bright yellow vans with "Climax" written down the side.

1 comment :

  1. ugh, dreading it already - and I think I have a good 14+ years to continue to worry. I love visiting the States, but why do we have to keep on adopting all their stuff, rather than doing things our way? Hope you find that van btw!!!


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