Sunday, 8 January 2012

There's One Born Every Minute ...

This week I watched the glorious weep-fest that is One Born Every Minute which started a new series on Channel Four.

I was ALLOWED to watch it with the minimum of teenage tutting and man-panicking because one of the midwives appearing in the programme is my cousin's daughter. This practically makes me a friend to the stars and so viewing is tolerated under the strict proviso I don't get, in any way, ever, even in the slightest, little bit, AT ALL, broody.

Though I don't do broody. I wasn't even broody before I had my own children, I am a casualty of the War of Propagation.

And I don't do Other People's Babies either. I might beam at the pram/buggy/sling and go: "Ahh, he/she (and sometimes, shamefully, it) is gorgeous" and then move very swiftly away just in case someone asks if I'd like to have a hold. Oddly, people assume that just because you have children (that you love enormously OBVIOUSLY), you must, of course, like all other children because they are, well, children too.
This is not in anyway true.

The number of Other People's Babies that I've cradled in my arms is about five and most of them were nephews and nieces. I would be a fabulous sinister Spinster Aunt (rich obviously) if it wasn't for having four children of my own *sigh.*

As for an ACTUAL birth; I put my hands over my eyes in the gory bits of One Born Every Minute tbh. I certainly have no interest in attending an actual birth. I said I HAVE NO INTEREST AT ALL IN ATTENDING A BIRTH *checks the Teen Twins are listening.*

Because it rather struck me, whilst watching One Born Every Minute, that there are young people on that programme giving birth. And I am a parent of young people and they might actually end up giving birth before I've died or become too gaga to be continent and trusted in sterile areas or something.*panics*

So, just to be clear, there is NO WAY that I'm going to be coming to ANY birth, not one, ever *carves it on stone.* I didn't even want to be there when I gave birth never mind sitting in at someone else's. Birth is the most barbaric, exhilarating, anxious, exciting, hell, and heaven on earth EVER ... Been there. Done that. Thanks.

AND I'm watching One Born Every Minute because although it's about the most barbaric, exhilarating, anxious etc... Mostly I'm thinking: "Ha, you think this bit is hard. You should be worrying about what's to come." Really I am. *Smug face.*

Oh, and admiring my cousin's daughter because I wouldn't EVER want to do her job.

*House exhales*

1 comment :

  1. Yep, I'm with you on that one. I'm expecting my 2nd and have asked my friend to be there with me (tag-teaming with hubby as he REALLY doesn't want to be!) but I've told her I wouldn't return the favour just in case she asks later!


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