Sunday, 12 February 2012

Letting Go and Holding On

"All the art in living lies in a fine art of mingling letting go and holding on."
Havelock Ellis

It's a delicate juggling act bringing up teenagers. Juggling WHILE walking on a tightrope, WITH a blindfold on.

Teenagers have opinions and ideas. They are mostly of the opinion that they know everything and you, addled parent that you are, know nothing. And their idea is that they should be able to do anything they want to do particularly when they're 16 when it's legal to drive tractors and buy lottery tickets and get tattoos and/or married (with parental permission of course).

Happily the Teen Twins, although thoroughly infested with opinions and ideas, are not bad teenagers as teenagers go. I know this, because I say "but they're not bad teenagers as teenagers go" quite a lot. To The Man, to friends, to my mother.... Mostly because they are in no way as bad as the teenager that I used to be so it must be true.

I was (still am) a "protective" mother, some might say "over-protective" *scowls at anyone who would say that* but the definition of protective is: "Having or showing a strong wish to keep someone or something safe from harm." I don't think being protective is a bad thing or odd. It's what parents do, they protect their young. It's what we're for.

But 16-year-olds do not, as we've already established, think of themselves as young anymore ("For God's sake, Mum, I can drive a tractor.") I'm 47 and I can't muster the same world weary ennui that TeenTwin1 manages to express with one raised eyebrow and a sigh. They've been there, done that and borrowed your t-shirt (and your shoes and your make-up) to do it in.

Inevitably there comes a point - or should if you ever want the sods to leave home - when trying to maintain an element of control steering the wildly veering cart of adolescence through to adulthood becomes just plain silly.

You're not an influence anymore, more of annoyance getting in the way; you have to get a megaphone, a lighting rig and a set of dancing penguins just to attract attention and you still have to knock Gerard Way out of the, er, way too.

So, even if you don't want to, you have to let go of the reins and cling on tight for the ride, occasionally shouting into the wind so you might be heard, and ready to be there to put the wheels back on when they fall off .

And all you can do is just hope that you gave them a smooth enough start in life to make the path not too bumpy.

*Hangs on tight*

1 comment :

  1. My 2 year old is already testing her independence and whilst great to see her learn its scary at the same time



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