Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Food Glorious Food ....

*Hangs out bunting*

*Does victory lap of the dining room*

*Pops champagne cork*


(Oh alright then, SOME Shepherd's Pie)

But let the celebrations commence anyway.....
*glugs from champagne bottle*

Once upon a time the Small Boy had a healthy appetite and a healthy diet but that was before he developed opinions on what he would and wouldn't eat. Two of the older children had gone through similar phases when they were four or five years old of being "funny about food" though. I've been there, done that, got the baked beans stains on the wall. Thanks.

But The Small Boy is not just funny about food, he's bloody hilarious *deadpan face*

To be fair, he DOES eat. He eats lots ... with relish, with enthusiasm and with *deep, deep sigh* not just puddles, but vast, ornamental lakes of tomato ketchup. Get fish and chips and he's there, with bells on, brandishing a small wooden fork like a victorious army falling on the spoils of war.

Fishfingers and chicken in breadcrumbs, either homemade or made by Mr Bird's Eye (though never bought in Iceland), will be tolerated. Occasionally he WILL have a dippy egg and toasty soldiers, but then he eats the soldiers and ignores the egg entirely.

He firmly believes that a sandwich should only contain one of two things, either Dairylea or strawberry jam. Not any other kind of jam. And it shouldn't have lumps in. His packed lunches are a veritable smorgasbord of excitement (not).

And apples. He loves apples. Sometimes pears and the odd plum and, given the opportunity, strawberries. But apples always. He even has favourite types of apple; Pink Lady is his current favourite after a torridly passionate affair with Granny Smith.

Since the low point of Christmas 2011 when his entire Christmas Day fare consisted of three chipolata sausages and some apples, we have made achingly slow progress towards introducing more foods back into his diet. And these days he will eat, um, sausages and Yorkshire puddings and, when the stars are aligned favourably, roast chicken or "chicken without his skin on" as he calls it.... presumably believing that farmyards the country over are populated with gaily clucking bread-crumbed chickens.

But vegetables, ha, as if. 

And it's not as if we haven't tried from the root up. He's planted potatoes on the allotment. He's watered potato plants on the allotment. He has helped pull up the potatoes on the allotment and marvelled at the potatoes that he has grown. But unless they comes deep fried and dripping tomato sauce, he won't have them on his plate.

I mean mashed potato for f*cks sake, how can you not like mashed potatoes? The Small Boy doesn't EVEN if you try to convince it's really just a chip without the skin on. Damn.

In retaliation I have learned the art of the perfect roast potato and I KNOW a roast potato is basically just a big, fat chip but in some sad, obscure way it makes me feel better anyway.

But today there was hope, a small victory in the continuing Battle of Shepherd's Pie 2010 to 2012 and  symbolic of a continuing accord between our two nations. *Waves piece of paper in the air* 

Ok, so maybe I'm getting a LITTLE bit carried away but he did come into the kitchen while I was cooking THE Shepherd's Pie...

*Sleeve tug* ..."Mum, I AM going to eat some mashed potato today."

Boy Eats Mashed Potato Shocker
(and of course I took a photo *tuts.*)

AND HE DID. Really he did. And then he got ever more adventurous and tried some of the, um, Shepherd too.

Cue, angel's singing, fluttering bluebirds, exploding fireworks and a brass band marching down the street.

Though he didn't like it much to be honest.

But at least he tried.

*Goes to Iceland*


  1. Brilliant! I love your writing! Affairs with granny smith! Does he like chocolate cake? If so I have the perfect recipe on my blog and he will never know he has eaten beetroot!

  2. Glad I took a nosey at the rest of your blog...this is so funny, I look forward to laughing more at some of your other posts *raises Gin* (with Bitter Lemon)

    1. *chinks glasses* mine's a gin with tonic and just a splash of lime :) thank you

  3. Opinions - that's the problem isn't it?
    When our children just blindly accept we know what's good for them, everything is well with the world.
    Then they have to go and get a bloody mind of their own.
    My son has a friend who will only eat pasta without any sauce on. And he'll have cheese toasties - but only from the M&S cafe (yes, his parents have got money to burn!) He also refuses to eat in the daytime - then his Mum lets him have a snack and a glass of milk at 2am.
    It's amazing the control kids can wield over their parents when it comes to eating.
    Thanks for linking up to #Parentonomy
    *embarrassed cough* feel free to use our fancy badge.
    Love your writing style and will now be following x

  4. While looking for where to subscribe to your blog, I've just realised you ARE using our fancy badge *hits forehead with palm of hand*
    Thank you x


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