Thursday, 8 March 2012

On Parenting Gnus ...

Some top parenting gnu or other has written yet another parenting book *sigh* because there just isn't quite enough parenting manuals in the world already obvs.

This parenting gnu - it is gnu, isn't it? *innocent face* - is causing consternation wide and far with her new book by sticking her oar into the bedroom .... telling new mothers they should be jiggling around the bedroom in fur nipple tassles within weeks of giving birth apparently.

This particular gnu *politely doesn't mention the parenting gnu has no actual children of her own to experiment base her findings on* has already written a whole bookshelf of books which have been quite successful I understand. Though I haven't read any of them. *Disdainful sniff.*

... I haven't read very many parenting guides, manuals or instruction books at all to be honest I did look at a Dr Miriam Stoppard book when I was pregnant with the TeenTwins but not for long because I didn't like the pictures.

 And I had a book that said things like: "This week your baby is the size of an orange" alongside the picture of an orange just in case you were in any doubt how big an orange was. It didn't help though because the oranges weren't to scale.

So instead of pregnancy and parenting books, I read Jilly Cooper's Rutshire Chronicles - Riders, Rivals, Polo and The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous - during pregnancy instead. Much, much more enjoyable; gin drinking by proxy.

And the GP that visited the newly born TeenTwins was scathing about new mothers following any other path in parenting other than their own.
"You're new to this. They're," *points nicotine-stained finger at then NewbornTwins* "new to this. I wouldn't listen to anyone else if I were you" *wracking smoker's cough* "You'll learn from each other." *waggles moustache sternly*

And that was possibly the first, last and only parenting advice I ever listened to or read *looks a bit abashed* but, you know, it's all good so far *crosses fingers, touches wood*

I HAVE used some books to assist my parenting though and these tomes of wisdom are *Fanfare*

On Your Potty - Virginia Miller
I Want My Potty - Tony Ross
The Last Noo Noo - Jill Murphy
Mummy Laid An Egg - Babette Cole

And they basically helped in the difficult bits. *nods*

A Gnu parenting

*sneaks off and writes parenting book*


  1. YES! They should prescribe the Rutshire Chronicles at your first booking in appointment with the midwife.

  2. Loads of our mates had babies a good few years after us, and I was amazed at how many books have been read by panicky new Mums. And none of them listen when I say it makes no bloody difference at the end of the day. The moment they can talk they'll want to do things their way, so just go with the flow or you'll spend the entire time they're babies fretting rather than enjoying it.


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