Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Being The Tooth Fairy ....

"And the winner of The Longest Serving Tooth Fairy Award IS.....

*drum roll*


*rapturous applause*

.....Sadly there isn't ACTUALLY a Tooth Fairy Long Service Award, but if there was one, I'd win it. Damn right.

Last night The Boy, aged 6, lost his first tooth to much excitement. But mostly his own because it appears that there IS a finite amount of times one can be genuinely excited by a tooth falling out of someone's head. And while he was strategically positioning his tissue-wrapped tooth under the pillow (for ease of Tooth Fairy access OBVIOUSLY), I realised I've been masquerading as The Tooth Fairy on a fairly regular basis for about 11 years far. If there was an actual Tooth Fairy, she would have had me up for stealing her identity YEARS ago.

I've already amassed, from the three girls, enough teeth to make a decent necklace and perhaps when The Boy has finished I might have enough for a bracelet too. Because what else do you do with children's teeth harvested from under pillows after midnight? You going to throw them in the bin? Are you? No, you're going to shove them in a box, in a drawer and pretend they're not there OR you're going to make a necklace. Maybe. Some time.

Though, apart from not knowing what to do with the teeth, the worse thing about being The Tooth Fairy for so long is customer service to be honest. Once upon a time, this particular Tooth Fairy took a pride in presentation. A tooth collected was rewarded with a proper fairy parcel. Not one, but two layers of wrapping! And ribbons tied in tiny bows. AND a teeny weeny label saying "Thank You, love The Tooth Fairy." And I POLISHED the pound coin prize within the parcel until it sparkled like gold. Sometimes there was glitter. *Sigh*

Eleven years on and last night ....

"Oh bugger, where's the wrapping paper?"

"Oh bugger, where's the scissors?"

"Oh bugger, where's the sellotape?" (Fact of life, #589 There is never any sellotape)


Eventually, at 12.49am, I shoved the shiniest pound coin (inflation being an entirely alien concept to Tooth Fairies) I could find, hastily wrapped in pink tissue paper and tied with purple wool, under The Boy's pillow with a brief prayer that his sisters wouldn't remark on how standards had dropped in Fairyland.

*Hands in wings*


  1. Haha. You are doing better than me.. Like you I was once a leaver of glitter filled parcels of love, but now a decade later and many teeth on- I forgot last time.... And had to pretend it had rolled out and under the bed where I 'found' it. Bad mum moment! X

  2. When TeenTwin2 lost her last tooth when she was 12, I just handed her the pound and she handed me the tooth because the money was far more important to her than waiting for fairies *tuts*
    Good thinking on the rolling under the bed *takes a note for future reference* x


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