So, alright it's not a snappy title but in response to the National Trust's 50 Things To Do Before You're 11 and Three Quarters, it's the best I've got.
I've already helped out The National Trust once but now I have selflessly decided to expand their entirely fantastic bucket list idea so mothers all over the country can fulfill their own bucket lists too. Get your clipboards, a marker pen and get ready....
Hurrah.
*Fanfare*
The Top 50 Things To Do Before Your Child is 11 and Three Quarters*
- Learn how to make salt dough
- Spend an existentialist half hour once a week wondering where all the socks go
- Forget to turn the bath off
- Forget to turn the bath on
- Go three days without food because you can't find time to eat any
- Papier mache a balloon
- Remove three hairclips and seven pieces of Lego from a washing machine filter
- Tolerate other people's children
- Forget to look in a mirror for a week and a half
- Have a tantrum (Preferably in a supermarket)
- Spend 72 hours without sleep
- Learn to love gin
- Cry when someone mentions going on holiday
- Jump in a puddle
- Forget your own name
- Forget your husband/partner/significant other's name (This can sometimes have HILARIOUS consequences)
- Know the name of every CBeebies presenter
- Eat chocolate until you are sick
- Despair at advertising on TV
- Wonder how to remove nail varnish from the carpet
- Wear jeans EVERY day for two years
- And not notice
- Struggle down the street with an (almost) lifesize castle made out of cereal boxes
- Start blogging
- List "colouring in" as a skill on your CV
- Reach for a glass when you see a rash
- Go on a wine diet
- Wonder what happened to your breasts
- Collect Disney's entire film oeuvre
- Visit A&E
- Get lost in a shopping mall
- Ride on a steam train
- Scream yourself hoarse
- Listen to five conversations at once
- Develop a crush on Dr Who
- Understand the life cycle of the headlouse
- Remove someone's ankle skin with a pushchair
- Know the name of EVERY Thomas the Tank Engine train (Beware: that's a LOT of trains)
- Cry in public
- Spit on a tissue
- Feel guilty
- Understand "number chunking" (Anybody?)
- Unblock something (toilet, plughole, drain, child's nose)
- Think about running away
- Bite your tongue
- Eat more chips than strictly necessary
- Bury a family pet
- Develop 1,763 ways of saying "NO"
- Sneer at lycra
- Worry.
*in no particular order
Great list!
ReplyDeleteOh my God this is so accurate! Especially the bit about CBeebies and advertising!
ReplyDelete