Saturday, 12 January 2013

A Letter of Complaint....

To The Manufacturer

Dear Sir,
Re: Model no: 1010220801/IFH

I wish to complain about the above product, The Tween, which I purchased in good faith eleven years ago. Despite careful maintenance as recommended by the manufacturer, The Tween has recently become very slow to start in the morning, difficult to fuel and started saying 'No' and stomping off on a regular basis which is beginning to stress the stairs.

Unfortunately I have been unable to find a method of making adjustments to The Tween's mood settings which now appear to fluctuate wildly and without reason. Inexplicably The Tween also seems to have been supplied without either an Off switch or Reset button, so I am unable to restore to previous settings which were very much easier to live with.

Despite these worrying issues, we have become quite attached to this particular model of The Tween. By continuing with regular maintenance, occasional bribery and the application of lavish amounts of tolerance we hope we can re-adjust The Tween to it's original sunny disposition and get many years of satisfactory enjoyment from this model.

May I recommend to avoid any further customer dis-satisfaction you install both an accessible control panel and off button on all future models.

Thank you.
Yours faithfully,



  1. HAHA - with an 11 year old tween myself I get this completely!! And I have been saying for ages he needs an on/off button or at least volume control!!
    Thanks for making me chuckle this morning

  2. I would like to join you in this complaint, as my particular model appears to exhibiting the same symptoms at roughly the same period after purchase.

    I don't know if you are also seeing issues with the increasingly expensive peripherals which are required in order to keep yours in a barely tolerable operational state? I talking about the various screens, communications accessories and expensive new outer coverings, etc. It has reached a stage where the running costs of my model are bordering on unsustainable, and the power consumption also seems to be rising at alarming rate.

    I would part ex for a slightly newer model, but I gather that even the latest models are prone exactly the same kind of failure. In fact I am given to understand that these issues seem to arise earlier and earlier with each new model.

    I am very concerned about this.


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