Friday, 12 April 2013

Tween Looks and What They Mean .... (NOT a Fashion Guide)

Inevitably once you are in full possession of your very own Tween, family communications WILL begin to break down.

Where once the house was so full of happy babble that you might have* considered stapling your child's mouth shut at the end of the day, a newly hatched Tween will instead merely grunt, shrug or sigh in response to all and any questions or, if you are VERY lucky, all three at once.

A Tween's preferred method of communication is with a look - an expression, a certain twist of the mouth and a roll of the eyes  - and that is supposed to convey their innermost thoughts, wants, wishes and commands. It is up to you, the parent, to divine their meaning .....

Ever helpful I undertook a covert operation and went undercover with a camera, The Tween's seven-year-old brother and high spy-level obfuscatory talk of biscuits. And I gleaned what I hope is a helpful guide to some Tween Looks:

Number 1:

The I'm far too engrossed in something far more important than you to pay attention to what you're doing but I know you're both up to something Look.

Number 2:

The No really I am NOT paying you any attention, I DON'T care what you're doing but I'm sure someone mentioned biscuits and didn't mention me Look

Number 3:

The Alright I'm getting really annoyed now, I don't care about biscuits. Give HIM all the biscuits. I don't care ANYWAY, even though they're MY favourite. biscuits. I hate you all Look

Number 4:

The I'm actually going to punch you if you give him all the biscuits, I LIKE those biscuits They are the ONLY biscuits I like, they're MY biscuits Look

Number 5:

The Death Stare ... (thankfully directed at The Boy who was entirely coincidentally holding a biscuit)... Look


Number 6:

The Oh, we can all have biscuits! Look.

Disclaimer: Biscuits not essential, replace with literally anything at all. *sighs*

*didn't ACTUALLY staple their mouths shut. Well, not often.....


  1. I love this! Please may I have it for my next Britmums round-up? Pretty please with sugar on top?!

  2. Brilliant - thank goodness there's a happy look to go with all the others!

  3. Lol, it looks could kill eh?! My two have a brilliant line up in glares!


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