Monday, 26 August 2013

Things I Have Learned This Summer ...

It is, finally, the last week of the school summer holidays. Traditionally the week where we try to pack in all those things we promised ourselves we were going to do in the holidays and, um, didn't.

It's also the week, traditionally, when I start to make a vague attempt to revert the family back to the routine hours of the school year instead of keeping holiday hours. A feat that this year just might mean adjusting the planet a bit to the left. Or is it right. *Sighs* 

Oh and it's also, traditionally, the week when I suddenly remember that all my good intentions to buy new uniform in plenty of time for the new school year and put it away neatly with all other school related items remained a good intention, and nothing else.

*Surreptitiously retrieves school blazer from behind the sofa, brushes it down a bit*

But out of school for the summer there's still been something to glean and these are the lessons I have learned over the past five weeks:

1. We have, after careful study, calibrated the acceptable alcohol capacity of TeenTwin1. She is able to imbibe about two thirds of a bottle of homemade peach wine (abv: massive) and be witty, chatty and animated. Anything over two thirds leads to her learning some valuable life lessons of her own. Like how to stay flat in a bed when the room is spinning and where we keep the cleaning equipment in the bathroom.*Tuts*

2. After uncountable years of disparaging TeenTwin2's fixation with make-up; the amount of make-up she owns, the amount of make-up she buys and the amount of make-up she wears, I've discovered she can, after 20 mins of brush wielding, make me look 15 years younger.
*Swallows words*

3. How to Twerk and do the Slut-Drop. Dance moves I shall be employing at every available opportunity for the foreseeable future. Sorry about that.

4. Who Jenna Marbles is. I love Jenna Marbles.

5. Even when I KNOW it's a man in a dinosaur suit, I will shriek like a girl if it/he comes towards me. Personally I blame too much Jurassic Park. *Tries to look dignified*

6. How much of a field in Leeds can fit on to the kitchen floor after a music festival.
Answer: Most of it.

7. And that there are only so many times you can take a seven-year-old boy to A&E without beginning to feel they think you're either an over-anxious mother or a safety risk. Three times in as many months since you're asking.
On our last visit (finger trapped in a bus window) I even took along a TeenTwin as a defensive move. I didn't actually say out loud: "And here's one I prepared earlier who's required no medical treatment at all during the past 17 years" but I think they got the message*.

And last, but not least

8. Never to go out on a family outing without carrying Gin in a Tin. *Nods wisely*

Indispensable travel accessory, no 1.

* Didn't notice.

What have you learned during your summer holidays?

1 comment :

  1. Hee hee --could twin 2 come and work her magic here? Ive leant that there is not much that a cold bottle of wine chilling in the fridge can't fix by 6 in the evening! Learning to let things go over the summer hols more and more!


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