Thursday, 16 April 2015

If 9 Year Olds Had the Vote ...

I and The Boy have been discussing politics.

Or, to be a little more accurate, I was *cough* "discussing" politics, and The Boy happened to be listening.

Or, even more accurately, he couldn't help but listen because I was having the "discussion" really rather loudly. On my own. At the telly.

There may have been some swearing.

Alright, there was definitely swearing.

Because, well. Politics.

Like a Pied Piper with an ASBO, it was the swearing that attracted The Boy obviously. He's nine. He likes swearing. Not that he does any of it himself, oh no. Obviously not.

We did end up talking politics, partly because he asked a question but mostly because when you want a rant it's nice to have an audience. Even if it is only nine.

We came to several conclusions.

1: People should not vote Conservative. Not, as you might think, because they have ridden roughshod
over the weak and the vulnerable of Britain for the past five years.

Leader of the Conservative Party
Or that they're intent on destroying both the NHS and the welfare system of which we should be justly proud.

Or because of Michael Gove, though god alone knows that should be reason enough.

No. People shouldn't vote Conservative mostly because David Cameron looks like Spencer the engine from Thomas the Tank Engine. Spencer, if you are unfamiliar with the Thomas the Tank Engine oeuvre, is the overbearing, stuck up engine that no-one likes. You might say the similarities between the pair are uncanny.

Ed Miliband and his campaign manager
Cracking policies, Gromit
2: Ed Miliband, on the other hand, looks like Wallace, from Wallace and Gromit. Of course he does. We know it. He knows it. Everybody knows it. It's unfortunate that when he speaks he sounds like Ed Miliband and not Peter Sallis.

He could win the election for Labour with a landslide if only he started every sentence in all his election speeches with the word 'Cracking' and ended them all by saying: 'Gromit.'

Or he would if nine-year-old boys had the vote.

3: We didn't say much about Nick Clegg, but who does these days? Anyone? No. Thought not.

4: The Boy also noticed Nigel Farage's more than passing resemblance to Mr Toad of Toad Hall but thinks UKIP's entire party ethos and attitude is: 'very rude.'

Not quite the way I would have described UKIP, but I'm quite glad The Boy doesn't use or even understand words like 'racist,' 'xenophobic,' 'misogynist' or 'gits'

And 5: He liked the Greens..... which is ironic because he's not once enjoyed or eaten any greens I've tried to feed him. Ever.

I can only hope that everyone who votes does so with the same maturity, forethought and consideration as the nine-year-old.

Sadly, I'm not sure they will.

*Stares hard at all the voters* 

1 comment :

  1. Brilliant - mine are only 3 & 4 so thankfully I haven't had to try and explain anything yet, although they keep asking why there are pictures of me holding babies in the papers!


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