Sunday, 17 July 2016

The Realistic Parent of Teens' Summer Bucket List.

The long school summer holidays stretch invitingly ahead with acres of empty days crying out to be filled with family fun. This year though, instead of putting together a bucket list which invariably gets torn into pieces and chucked in the bin after three days of resistant apathy, I've finally succumbed to the reality of what teens really want from a summer bucket list ...

 Summer Bucket List for Teens

1: Spend as much time as possible lying in bed in a darkened room

2: Cultivate three new life forms on abandoned plates and mugs under the bed.

3: Exist solely on a diet of Cocoa Pops and Haribo.

4: Resist all attempts at communication but if absolutely unavoidable employ only grunts, sighs and the occasional huff.

5: Write long-winded, badly spelt, badly punctuated statuses on social media about how bored you are despite being an A* English student offered 302 exciting things to do before breakfast every day.

6: Never knowingly look happy or appreciative.

7: Perfect the dismissive shrug.

8: Tantrum like a two year old if anyone dare suggest you tidy your room.

9: Spend a continuous 24 hours gorging on cat videos on YouTube.

10: Stagger back in stunned horror if asked to join in with family activities.

11: Inadvertently learn Japanese because of the number of dubbed animes you've watched.

12: Communicate with the outside world purely by the use of emojis.

13: Create dirty washing mountain ranges across the panorama of your bedroom and claim they are art homework.

14: Don't sleep for a week.

15: Develop the skin pallor of Gollum.

16: Send incomprehensible Snapchat videos to indicate to friends you are still alive.

17: Lollop.

18: When running into a family member around the house look at them as if you have no idea who they are.

19: Practise looking down your nose while simultaneously shrugging, sighing and stomping off .

20: Keep the whereabouts of your school PE Kit a mystery until 10.20pm the night before the summer holidays end.

This could be the most attainable bucket list ever :/



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